How things turn out
by RhondaStar
Summary: A one-shot following the end of series 27 - Robbie's screwed up again, Jackie can't resist paying him a visit. Lots of dialogue and sexual moments...


_**Started out as a one-shot following the end of series 27 - not so sure now, I rather liked who they were here. Lots of dialogue and sex...**_

**How things turn out**

She was just turning off her PC and emptying her desk drawer when Burke caught her. The office was mostly in darkness now, the cleaners having been through an hour or so ago and she'd been glad of the silence for the past hour, gave her time to think.

"Jackie."

"Sir?"

"A word before you leave."

She headed into his office, leaning on the back of a chair; she hoped if she stood it would mean he wouldn't keep her long. Her head was pounding.

"Robbie," one word, one name and she felt her stomach lurch.

"Yes sir?"

"Keep an eye on him, got his finger stuck on self-destruct." He took a breath, leant back in his chair. "I'm not stupid Jackie. Don't let him drag you down."

She could have argued, fought for him, but instead she nodded. "Yeah... night sir."

There was a rawness in the air at the moment. Not just Robbie's latest screw ups, the threat from complaints, his futile attempt to help a drug addict. None of it really made his CV shine.

But beyond that, something she couldn't quite put her finger on. Things were changing, between them, in the department, she wasn't sure which but she felt uncomfortable, unsettled. And the kiss didn't help.

That damned kiss.

She knew it had been a mistake the moment it was over. Pushing him aside and almost legging it out the door. His taste still on her lips. The feel of his hands on her body.

Still, it was silly to keep replaying it. Fruitless. They'd flirted one too many times with the idea of it and always he'd retreated. It was just a game to him. Women always were.

And now, when it was clear he was pissing his career away, he needed her to help save him? And she wasn't entirely sure why she was bothering.

* * *

On the wrong road, heading to his flat instead of hers. It was unclear why. To shake some sense into him? To ask him why? To check he wasn't drunk? To offer comfort after a real fucker of a week?

Why should she bother? After all he was nothing but a selfish bastard! He thought of nothing more than his own needs, he picked her up and flirted and teased when the need struck him, it didn't mean he cared. Not really. She'd felt such a fool handing over the cufflinks, the result of their short but intense kiss leaving her with some fantasy of what might be - that it had affected him the way it did her.

But the way he looked at her when she'd handed them across, how he'd leant in to brusquely kiss her cheek. He smelt of coffee and cologne and it made her stomach swoop.

Twice she turned round, took a left instead of a right at the roundabout, then ended up going round the block and towards his flat. For ten minutes she sat outside watching the rain pour down the car window. It was late and she was tired and her head was spinning and her body ached and yet still she felt the need to go in and talk to him.

He didn't respond to her knocks at first. But she was determined once her mind was made up and she banged and pounded until he eased the door open a crack. A wary eye looking out to her.

Instantly she softened, placing her hand on the door near his face.

"Hi," she said gently.

He fully opened the door, stood back and let her in.

The flat smelt. A mixture of Robbie's cologne, dirty laundry, and damp stale air. It was warm in here and wet outside. The only light came from the kitchenette, small bulbs beneath the cupboards, and was a blurry, greyish colour.

"You been drinking?" She asked as she surveyed the room, he'd obviously been sleeping on the couch. His hair was ruffled and there was an abandoned shirt and tie on the floor.

"No, I have not!" He snapped, dropping back to the sofa and scooping up the clothes, he screwed them into a ball and tossed them to the chair.

"Don't snap at me Robbie, I'm worried."

He closed his eyes, ruffling his hair as he sat back, "I don't need you to worry."

"Maybe you need somebody to."

She sat down beside him, her coat still on, damp and smelling of fresh rain.

"Always just been me," he said somewhat melancholy. "Never relied on anyone else, never needed to. Never cared."

She slid her hand across to rest on his and to her surprise he parted his fingers and folded them with hers.

"Really cared about her Jacks. Always trying to be the fucking hero right, only I royally screw it up time and time again... really cared."

"Love?"

"Not like that, she was like a child... lost, empty... I just wanted..."

She was shocked when he burst into tears, it wasn't often she'd seen him cry over the years. In fact she could probably count it on one hand. But this was raw and unmeasured and uncontrollable.

She felt her heart break for him.

She moved closer, lifting her arm up and he easily slid into her, his head finding her chest as he sobbed against her. This strong, fiercely independent man broken and a wreck. She stroked his back, closed her eyes, offering what comfort she could.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. She knew what it was like to lose somebody you cared for. But to have the guilt of somebody else's death on your conscience too...

She realised he'd stopped crying some time later but he remained leaning against her and she didn't move. Occasionally she glanced towards the clock; she'd left her phone in the car and was aware Chris would probably be calling. But it wasn't an accident she'd left the phone behind and part of her wondered just where this would lead.

A dark, melancholy mood, the thick, heavy rain pounding against the glass. The city, so dense and motionless behind them as the late hour wore on.

Finally he sat up, still leaning against her side and clutching her hand.

She thought of Michael's death and Robbie holding her hand.

"Sorry, making a real mess of things today." He wiped at his face.

"Don't apologise, we all need outlets."

"Why do you always..." he smiled, glanced at the floor shaking his head.

"Why do I always what?"

"Stick by me."

She shrugged, "We're mates aren't we."

"Yeah, the best I've had." He squeezed her hand. "I don't deserve you, your support. Why are you here?"

"I'm a sucker for depressed guys." She turned her head to look at him and found herself planting a kiss on his forehead. "So, shall I get us a drink?"

"I'm off the booze remember."

"I believe I said cut back, not stop. You're not drunk?"

"Not touched a drop."

"Fine," she reluctantly let go of his hand and in the semi-darkness moved to where his glasses and a bottle of single-malt stood. As she poured she realised it was one she'd bought him.

"Can I ask you something?" She handed him his drink.

"Sure."

She was slipping her damp coat off and laying it over the back of the chair where his balled up shirt was.

"You promised me dinner, after the case. Was it, a Robbie promise, or a real promise?"

He laughed as she sank down beside him.

"After this, we can go where you like."

"I was being serious Robbie."

He swallowed, sucked down the drink. "A Robbie promise, my head's screwed up, has been..."

"It's been going on for light years Robbie."

They both knew what she meant and like some elephant in the room neither dare take the next step.

She'd leave after the drink, make sure he went to bed and got a proper night's sleep and a shower in the morning.

"Stay for a while." He said as she neared the bottom of her glass, swirling the amber liquid. "Don't wanna be alone."

The irony of it.

"You don't wanna be alone, so I'm good for something."

"I didn't mean that."

"I'm never sure what you mean." She downed her drink and got up. "I better go; otherwise I think we'll say stuff we'll regret. You need a decent night's sleep, so do I."

She headed to the door, grabbing her coat as she went. "Clean up in here too Robbie, it stinks."

She was fumbling with the lock when he touched her.

From behind, his hand placing over hers on the handle, his chest against her back, nose in her hair inhaling the rain.

"Don't do this." She whispered, eyes already closing. It had been years since they'd got this close. But the kiss from a couple of weeks ago was still burning in her mind.

He slid one hand down her other arm until he got to her coat and took it from her throwing it aside.

"You don't really mean this," she whispered again, leaning her forehead against the door. "And I _need_ you to mean it."

"I mean it," he said by her ear, his breath hot.

She doubted his sincerity, doubted this was anything more for him than a pick-me-up and she'd resisted his come-ons so many times before. Why now? What made it so different now?

That kiss. Like some magnetic draw pulling her back time and time again, for three nights she'd had the most intense dreams about him all stemming from that kiss. Woken feeling hot and her stomach swirling with pleasure and Chris asleep beside her.

"Oh god..." She groaned as his lips just grazed the back of her neck.

She turned, so slowly, eyes still closed. And inhaled when their bodies touched again.

"I do mean it Jackie, I've always meant it."

"Just stringing me along..."

"...Not mature enough to handle something like this." He interrupted, eager to reassure.

His lips were so close to hers, she dared herself to look at him and found his eyes so clear and intense as he watched her.

"This isn't some game, no excuses, no pretence of it being a cover-story." She fought to keep her voice steady.

"I don't want it to be."

Giving in she sank forward, lust taking over for the first time, her mouth crushing against his. Unlike last time when she'd been caught off-guard and was nervous and playing a role, this time she gave in completely, instantly, and felt him do the same.

Lips parting, tongues meeting and mutual groans of appreciation at the contact.

There was no more holding back and playing it fair. She really didn't care anymore anyway. If this all went wrong at least she knew what it felt like. If it was the end, a turning point, if it meant leaving the department and heading elsewhere after all these years then so be it... At least she'd know.

All she could think about was having him naked and inside her. Of erasing the hurt of the past few days, the distance that had formed between them because of it. Forgetting how much he'd disappointed and ruined things slightly.

It was Robbie. And she knew him so well. And she loved him so much, always had.

Her fingers were shaking as she fumbled with his belt and the zip on his jeans. To her surprise he was moving slower, she was still dressed when he was without a t-shirt and his jeans just slipping down.

In the end she took her top off herself and tossed it aside. Hoping against hope that her underwear at least partially matched and her body could control itself just long enough.

He was eager then, hands on her breasts, rough and impatient, he shifted her bra aside, mouth covering her nipples, one then the other and she flung her head back against the door.

"Oh god, god, god..." She murmured, this was real, this was what she wanted and needed and had always, always desired.

His mouth slid down her stomach, fingers swift as they unbuttoned her trousers and pushed them down, panties soon following.

He'd done this a thousand times before she knew, hence his skill, but the thought only made her smile.

One hand under her thigh drawing her leg up over his shoulder and then his mouth on her, and she almost collapsed on top of him.

She rested her hands on his head in an attempt to steady herself, yet found she was already rolling her hips, pushing against him and then releasing back as she sought more and more.

What had started as soft whimpers were building into deep throaty moans. And yet still somewhere in her mind there was disbelief that this was actually happening. She felt removed. She'd only been there just over an hour, had gone to check he was alright, and now after all this time they were having sex stood up against his flat door.

"Robbie," she gasped, focusing on him to take her mind away from the magnitude of what they were doing.

Her hands slid down to his shoulders as he let her leg down and she sunk her nails into his skin.

He needed no more explanation, he worked his way back up her body, swirling his tongue around her belly button and then back to her breasts before he reached her mouth. A deep, yearning kiss and then his hands were back at her thighs, lifting her up until she wrapped her legs around him.

He pressed against her, showing her how she'd made him. Mind whirling in pleasure she slid a hand down, searching, her fingers skimmed his length until he moaned her name.

Now he was as impatient as her and twice almost pushed inside.

"Wait..." she whispered between kisses, "we need..."

He understood and reluctantly let her down again, despite the frantic image of having her right there stood up driving him insane.

They were kissing, leaning against the cabinet, and his hand searching in the drawer for a condom. One found, he moved them back toward the couch but she stopped him and drew him down to the rug, laying him back on it.

He watched, half-amused, definitely turned on, as she slid the condom on. She was quick!

In a second she was straddling him. Hands on his chest at first as she lowered, taking him inside her, eyes closed she was silent but he hoarsely said her name as if she'd drawn it from him.

He was complete. Finally.

Leaning back, just slightly, slowly now, her palms flat – one on the floor by her side, the other on his chest to support. Her body moved fluidly building their rhythm.

It didn't take long, the pace already frantic, Robbie's hips rising to meet hers as he pushed and searched for something he thought he'd never find.

"Oh god! Jackie... I love you." He shouted as he came and despite the moment she fell for it, climaxing at his words and finding it hard to come down from the euphoria.

Their bodies were still moving together, slight little urges, her face buried in his neck now as he stroked her back. Both reluctant to part and end it.

It meant facing up to things.

"I love you." He repeated, a gentle tone this time.

She smiled, lifting her head up to meet his gaze. "That's just the orgasm talking."

"Its years of knowing and doing fuck-all about it..."

"Rob..." she interrupted.

"No, I need to say it now."

She nodded. "This will probably never last you know. We're hardly compatible."

He brushed her hair back, "Perfectly so."

She smiled again, that cockiness still apparent despite his obvious rawness. There was still pain in his eyes but something more now. Something she hoped she'd given him.

"I want to do that again," she finally said, holding his gaze.

His eyes widened, "Already?"

"Again and again. I've always wondered..."

"Never realised you'd be so demanding."

"I thought it was rather good."

"Fucking amazing!"

She laughed, "So, again?"

"And again and again..."

He drew her mouth down to his. "The bed this time?"

She mumbled a yes and let him get her up, mouths somehow still joined as they stumbled back to his bedroom.

It smelt better in there. Fresher. Obviously he hadn't slept in here in a few days.

His bed wasn't made though and that amused her almost as much as watching him remove the used condom before joining her back on the bed.

This time was slower, more measured. Robbie doing his upmost to impress and please. And she was glad to let him.

It was exciting enough just to be in his bed, with the sound of the storm building outside, and his moans of pleasure ringing in her ears. Her name tumbling from his lips like honey. She usually found she closed her eyes during sex and drifted off; here she had no need to. There was nowhere she wanted to drift to.

She watched how he moved, or rather how they moved together. No sheets covering them, she imagined that was so Robbie. Naked and natural together. How her legs curved up around his body, alternating between holding him tight against her and then lowering to change the angle and sensation.

She was almost mindless this time when she climaxed, dizzy, and all the silly things she'd read in cheap novels on long flights and very much doubted seemed to be happening right then and there. She wanted to scream of how much she loved him and how she'd do anything for him, anytime, anywhere, if only he'd return that love and see how good they could be.

Instead she yelled his name and then bit her lip to keep the rest inside.

It was he who had let the L word trip from his mouth, as easy as saying hello. If he kept it up she'd begin to believe it was true.

* * *

"You okay?" he whispered into the darkness. She'd been silent for a while now, her back to his chest, bodies curled together. He liked the way she raised her legs, it made her bottom stick out and into him.

"Being with you hurts." Her voice cracked the stillness in the room.

"In what way?" He glanced up and over her shoulder concerned.

"You, you're so damned frustrating. I'm never sure."

He settled his head back down on the pillow behind hers, kissing her hair.

"What do you need to be sure of?"

"This. I'm not sure what this is. Just sex – fine, I can kinda deal with that, though we certainly took our time finding out whether the chemistry really did work."

"It worked."

She smiled, leaning her head down to kiss his hand where it rested on her chest.

"You're such a..."

"I know. I won't be. Not anymore."

She sighed, "I'm not sure you can really change."

He was silent for a moment or two, how did he respond to that?

"It can't just be sex." She added. "I'm getting too old for that, I need something more."

"We've always been something more."

Again the silence settled, she leant back in his arms, grateful when he pulled the bed sheets up over their bodies. She could sleep now; it was the early hours of the morning and her head and her heart were exhausted.

Something seemed to have shifted. As much as she doubted the supernatural and the turnings of the universe having anything to do with her actions, she felt something had shifted. Some small element yet perceptible enough to alter her course.

"Burke asked me to keep an eye on you, I'm not sure this is what he meant," she smirked.

"Can't see you divulging this piece of information come Monday morning."

"Make myself sound a right slut."

"How?"

"I hardly fought you off." She turned, flopped onto her back and looked up at him, the amused expression in his eye. "Go on..."

"I'm so irresistible right."

She nodded, pursing her lips. "Don't be smug."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

"But I can be smug."

"Go right ahead."

She laughed now and him along with her before leaning down for another kiss.

"You smell so good," he whispered, "have I ever told you that?"

"I don't think it came up no." She groaned, lifting her arms up and looping them around him as he leant over her. "God I just wanna stay here, not think of anything else."

"It's the weekend, we can." He was kissing her neck, licking her skin, she felt almost self-satisfied about it. Robbie Ross turned on by her. Finally.

She glanced at the clock, 3:12.

"It's so late Robbie," she said, eyes closing at the sensation as he reached her breasts, his fingers already moving down between her legs again. "Oh my phone!" She suddenly snapped, jerking beneath him. "I left my phone in the car."

He kissed is way back up her chest, "So..." he mumbled.

"Work, I'm out of reach."

"They'll get me."

"Knowing I'm here?" She pushed him up a little. "And Robbie, Chris... he's probably been calling." She covered her face. "What a total bitch."

"Hey don't say that."

"I'm not the type of woman to do this."

"We hardly planned it."

"The start of every good excuse." She sat up, pulling the sheets over her chest. "I need to go."

"Don't." He rested his hand on her shoulder. "Don't break this."

"I have to talk to him."

"At 3a.m.? It's hardly the time to dump someone."

She stared at him. Wide-eyed.

"That is," for the first time he felt doubtful, "that is what you're going to do..."

She didn't need to think on it, of course it was, it didn't mean it was any easier to accept. "Yes," she finally whispered. "But I'm still... a little in shock maybe. This." She gestured at the bed. "I never thought we'd really ever get this far let alone you hoping for more."

"Who says how relationships should start? Nobody has the monopoly on how love should go."

"Love... you say this word like it's so easy."

"It isn't. It hurts. And I've no doubt will rip the guts out of each other at times, cos you're as hard as nails Jacks."

"Thanks."

"And so damned independent and single-minded. But I'm a total waster at times and I screw up more than a teenage boy. But I wanna try, I want it to work."

She wasn't sure how to respond to that.

He squeezed her shoulder. "I'll go get the phone. Stay here."

She watched him grab a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants from a drawer.

"It's in the glove compartment. Keys are... in my jacket pocket I think."

"On the floor, by the door," he grinned.

Shaking her head she laid back, the bed was warm and smelt of them and she snuggled into the pillow, relaxing.

She was half-asleep when he returned; cool as he slipped back into bed beside her.

"Phone," he dangled it in front of her and she took it, snapping it open and checking her messages. He took the opportunity to warm his hands on her stomach and she yelped at the sudden sensation.

"Seven missed calls from him..." She quickly typed a text message and then switched to silent mode, burying the guilt somewhere inside where she'd have to deal with it later.

"So?" He asked as she snuggled beside him.

"Told him I'm with a friend and I'll explain tomorrow."

"And you'll say?"

"Haven't figured that out yet."

She moved to rest her head on his chest, kissing his skin, closing her eyes, forgetting there was anything more than this room and how she felt in it.

"My head's spinning," she mumbled.

"Go to sleep, we'll sort it in the morning."

"Stopped raining." She stated as she drifted off.

"Never stays forever."

* * *

Morning. The streets seemed black from the deluge of the night before. Tarmac shining almost silver threads in the sunlight. Saturday was quiet. Resting.

Jackie was first to wake. Her head cloudy at first but soon clearing as she turned and realised she was in Robbie's arms. The memories of the night before sank in, heady and sublime.

Turning she lifted herself up, resting on one elbow as she looked down at him sleeping. His hair messy and some satisfied smile on his lips. He could be so damned conceited. At the moment she thought it cute.

She brushed his hair back from his face, leant down and very gently kissed his mouth before creeping out of bed and to the bathroom.

When she returned he was awake and watching as she tiptoed back to bed.

"Don't stare," she said quickly covering her naked body, or trying to.

"I've seen it all now," his throat was a little dry, voice croaky. "Come here." He lifted the sheets back and she crawled back to him, her body flush against his.

"Hi," she said as soon as she was comfortable, hands folded on his chest, chin resting on them.

"Hi. Any regrets yet?"

"Not at the moment, you?"

He shook his head, "We should have done it sooner."

"Maybe we weren't ready to."

"How you feeling..."

He shrugged, "Like a hate myself."

She stroked his face, "Don't."

"Odd that we should have this, you reminding me what it is to live, and offset by this death and carnage I've caused."

"Not caused, were part of yes, but not caused. Besides, if I can forgive you, you should forgive yourself."

"I guess," he stroked her bare back, "Fancy some breakfast?"

"Hmm, later." She tiptoed her fingers up his chest and then followed with her mouth, smiling before she kissed him. "Remind me just what we did last night."

He laughed, holding her tighter, rolling their bodies to the side, "Again and again?"

"Did I really say that? I don't believe you."

"I think you were begging at one point."

"Hardly likely," she slid one leg up and over his. "I never beg."

"Neither do I."

The morning brought tenderness and patience where the previous night had been consumed with lust. Facing each other in the milky daylight, no hiding the expressions of pleasure or affection.

She wasn't sure which she preferred, the quiet, time-taking morning or the heady, rushed night. But then there really was little point in comparisons as she had both and both made her happy. Immensely happy.

Who lost control first; it didn't really matter, it happened together, for the first time. And she had no fear of watching his face, no qualms about it, and this time when he whispered those words she felt no need to hide.

"I love you too."

* * *

_**Hope you enjoyed!**_


End file.
